What I Love About Being a Mama: One Hundred Kisses

"Mama, I want to give you one hundred kisses!"  ~my Lila (about twice a week) And I'd happily let her.

One of the things that I love most about being a mama is... getting one hundred kisses in a row.  :)  Truly, I love the affection my children give me, and the affection they allow me to give them.  It's a wondrous thing.  Snuggles are one of our love languages, and we always hug and kiss each other every time one of us leaves the house.  Even if it's just to the grocery store.

Our favorite way to watch a movie is cuddled up on the couch together, pillows thrown all over the place.

Lila kisses the palm of my hand every morning when I drop her off at school, a la "The Kissing Hand."  Just this morning, she held up the car line because she jumped back into the van to kiss Charlotte on the head.  No one minded a bit.  :)

Parker melts into a puddle when I scratch his back or run my fingers through his hair.  It's how I used to get him to sleep when he was a baby, and he still adores it.

Charlotte won't go to sleep at night without running into the living room to "get Daddy's kiss" first.

One of my favorite quotes ever is this one:  "Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives."  ~C. S. Lewis

How do you and your kids show that you love each other?  Do you have your own little "love language" or bedtime snuggling rituals?  I'd love to know more about how mamas love their babies, so tell me in the comments below!

//

From now until Mother's Day, I'll be doing a blog series on motherhood, entitled What I Love About Being a Mama.  Yesterday, I shared with you a bit about sibling relationships and asked you for tips on fostering friendships between your children.  Today, I'm shared with you how much I adore their sweet cuddles and affection.  Stay tuned for the next few weeks of this series... I'll be featuring interviews, giveaways, and special gifts just for my readers.  I promise, you won't want to miss a single post!  :)

//

Also, don't forget about Mother's Day Mini-Sessions happening this weekend!  It's a terrific gift idea, and one that most mamas will appreciate far more than flowers and dinner out.  Photographs last forever, and I hope you'll let us encourage you on your motherhood journey by photographing you with your own little loves (and even your own mama too!).  Click here for more information, and register through the CONTACT button at the top of this website or by calling 727-698-0344.  Sessions are limited, and several have already filled up, so don't wait!  Book your Mother's Day Mini-Session now!

What I Love About Being a Mama: Sibling Friendships

Undoubtedly, one of my favorite things about being a mama is when I get to witness how much my kids truly like one another.  Not just "we-love-because-we-have-to", but actual friendship.  Snuggling, tickling, laughing, playing because-they-want-to friendship.  It warms my heart to no end to see these sibling friendships developing and growing.

I was folding laundry on Lila's bed yesterday, and Lila climbed into Charlotte's crib to play with her, like she so often does. They just began snuggling under the covers and tickling each other and giggling like little girls do. My heart melted into a puddle when I saw them being so loving toward each other, all on their own.

My camera was in my office, but my iPhone was nearby, so that is what I used here. After all, "the best camera is the one that's with you."  ~Chase Jarvis

I actually texted this photo to my two sisters immediately afterward, because it made me think of them. We're still best friends to this day, even as mamas ourselves.

Parents, never underestimate the importance of fostering real friendship between your children! I'm so very grateful for my sisters... the way we have always helped each other through different stages of life, having all of those inside jokes that no one else thinks is significant, much less funny. How we support each other even if we don't agree, how we can call or text in the middle of the night if we need a listening ear or a bit of advice about a sick baby.  How we've comforted and encouraged one another through breakups and boyfriends, marriages and babies, through life and death and sickness in between, through prosperity and heart-breaking loss, through cross-country moves and changes that cannot be reversed. I am sp grateful for our undying friendship and our unconditional acceptance and support of each other.  I know that my sisters always have my back, even though we are scattered across the country.

Our parents gave us these most wonderful gifts: each other.

It is my intention to guide all three of my children to not only love each other, but to truly like each other now and forever.  To give them what I have with my sisters.  And it's a beautiful thing to witness this unfolding before my eyes.

So what about you?  Are your children also friends? Let's talk!  I'd love to know your tips and ideas on how to develop sibling friendship in the comments below!

I'll go first!  :)  There were three of us girls, but only two bedrooms upstairs. So the two who were arguing the most would have to share a room until we learned to get along. We didn't like it at first, but it worked like a charm.  Mom was pretty brilliant like that.

Now it's your turn!

//

Today is the first day of my new blog series entitled, "What I Love About Being a Mama".  Stay tuned for the next few weeks as we celebrate mothers all over the world.  I'll be featuring interviews with other mamas, special gifts, and giveaways just for my readers!  Be sure and subscribe so that you don't miss a single post!

//

I also hope you'll join me this Friday and Saturday, April 11th and 12th, for Mother's Day mini-sessions at Honeymoon Island in Dunedin!  I'd love to melt YOUR Mama-heart into a puddle when you see images of your children loving on each other, and loving on YOU.  Register now by emailing me through this website (contact link above) or by calling me at 727-698-0344.  It would be my honor to celebrate you and your children, even if they're grown up and not-so-little anymore.  They'll always be your babies, after all, right?

xo, Stacey

On being kind.

Earlier this week, Lila's kindergarten teacher brought Lila and I home after school, because my car key broke and fell off my ring somewhere between the parking lot and Lila's class line.  Crazy accident, right?  But that sweet woman generously offered to rescue us.  The women in the front office were so kind and helpful, looking up phone numbers and offering their best advice, and a phone and phone book too.  The assistant principal actually found my missing half of a key the next day and returned it to me.

THANK GOD FOR KIND PEOPLE.  Kind people who hurt when you hurt, who offer to help when you are in a jam.

In this world of go-go-go, it's often so easy for us to just look past people who are having trouble in favor of our own busy schedule and to-do list.  But these people didn't.

So on Friday, we brought flowers to the school staff and to Lila's teacher.  Miss Anna in the front office was so surprised and overjoyed.  They were just simple wildflowers from the grocery store, but I wrapped them in kraft paper and washi tape and added a pretty handwritten note.  I didn't spend a lot of money, in fact it took me longer to rewrap them and add my personal touches than it did to purchase them.  But they thanked us over and over.  And my heart swelled.  And Lila grinned and ran off to class to take her bundle of flowers to her teacher too.  She wrote me back a sweet thank you note and she loved all over Lila at school.

You know, I was struck by how good it made me feel to make someone else happy.  Even though they made me happy first.  Isn't kindness a funny thing?  I've read somewhere that kindness is actually a selfish thing to do, because it makes you feel amazing in the process.  I'm not sure that I believe that.  But I have to admit that even when I start out in a grumpy mood, I can feel my spirits lifted after I've done something kind for someone.

Love doesn't just talk about loving on people... love actually does.

This week, I want to challenge you to show kindness to someone.  Do something extra special for someone who doesn't expect it.  Do it "selfishly" if you must, but do it with a genuine smile and a sincere heart. I promise you will be so happy afterwards.

Kindness doesn't have to be big and showy to make a difference.  Pay for someone's coffee in the Starbucks line behind you.  Hold the door open for a mama with a stroller.  Hold the door open for anyone.  Buy flowers for a friend.  Make a pan of Shauna's enchiladas for a new mom and take them to her.  Take your kids to the park or to a movie.  Read one more story at bedtime.  Refrain from nagging your husband and instead ask him if there is anything you can do for him.  Smile at and say hello to the stranger you pass on the sidewalk.  Download a song your kids love and play it in the car.

And don't forget to come back and tell me how awesome you feel.  :)

Bleeding hearts

Today would have been my Momaw's birthday. She never forgot mine.  Or Chris's.  Or any of the kids.  She and Popaw always mailed a card (with money tucked inside), and it was a guarantee that it would arrive either before or on our actual birthday.  Her last week here on the earth, we were lucky enough to FaceTime with her in the hospital, and as sick as she was, she said, "Oh no, I haven't forgotten a lost tooth or a birthday, have I?"  Bless her sweet heart.  Always thinking of us.

She passed away on Valentine's Day of this year.  I find myself dreaming of her today, remembering her kind voice and her positive attitude.  I am thinking of her tiny flower garden, and the stories she would tell me about the plants in it.  Buttercups, red roses, and pink and red bleeding hearts spilling over the broken sidewalk.

I wish I could grow bleeding hearts here.  (And peonies.  And clematis.)  Unfortunately, it's a bit too hot and humid for these pretties to thrive down here, but they will remain in my memory as the most poetically beautiful flowers in the world.

I also remember her shenanigans.  Once she "baked" a sponge cake for someone (I can't remember who, just now) when I was just a girl.  She put this big round piece of sponge on a plate, and covered it in chocolate icing.  After we sang Happy Birthday, she handed the knife to the guest of honor, and urged him to cut the first slice.  We got the biggest laugh out of that sponge on a plate.  My mom was afraid to cut into Momaw's birthday cakes for years after that.

I don't remember if she ever tried this in my presence, but she used to giggle about putting a tiny inflated balloon down the center of an angel food cake, and then frosting over the whole thing to hide the balloon.  When the knife popped that balloon, there would be an awful mess to clean up... but goodness I can just see her slapping her knee now.

If Momaw were still alive today, I'd bring her over a sponge cake and a card, and we'd eat cake and drink 7-up, and I'd bottle up her pretty laugh to listen to on days when I miss her too much.  Like today.

My Birthday Boy

Today is my love's birthday. (Well, yesterday, by the time you read this.)

That's us, circa July 2000.  It was our first wedding anniversary, and we'd gone back to the beach where we'd said our vows the year before.

Chris deserves a bit of attention today, because without him, I probably wouldn't be here at all. His quiet encouragement for the past 14 years, his dry sense of humor when things are chaotic, his sensible perspective despite all of The Crazy I bring... these traits are beautiful to me. I am so proud, and so glad, that this man is mine.

That baby girl isn't Charlotte... it's baby Lila.  ;)

I am the mushy one who can stretch out a compliment a mile long. / Chris quickly gets to the point about what he likes. But he is sweet and sincere, and his "All my love, Chris" card signature is every bit as beautiful to me as a poem.

I love to try new things. / My husband is as predictable as the hands on a clock.  He will deny it outright, but truly, his routine = solace.

I am creative and so messy. I love pens and notebooks and flowers and frames and images and anything lovely to inspire me while I work. / His most-used tools are spreadsheets and calculators, and he has nary a photograph on his desk.  (Especially shocking to me, considering my profession and the abundance of photographs we have in our home. But I digress.)

I am forgetful and flighty despite my very best intentions. / Chris is dependable, true to his word every time. If he says he'll be there at 7pm, he pretty much guarantees it.

A lot of times my introverted-ness comes out, and I tend to shy away from crowds, or at the very least hold back, smile and just people-watch until it's over. / Chris is most definitely Mr. Life of the Party.

We are opposite in so many ways, but the things we have in common far outweigh our differences.

Together, we helped God create the three most beautiful children on the planet.

We both enjoy a delicious steak.  He's even coming around to my way of grilling cooking them, I think. Maybe. Possibly?

Music is essential to our lives, every single day. We have so many songs that we connect to.

We love Dallas.  Not the city, the TV show.  (We used to watch old episodes of the original Dallas together, on the Soap Network years ago.  Rest in peace, Larry Hagman.)  I rarely watch anything on TV, but I have to admit that I look so forward to Monday nights, snuggled up next to Chris on the couch.

We can't imagine living any distance away from the beach.  We've both experienced snow, sleet, and "iiiice storms" enough to know what we like. That sweet, salty air in our lungs is necessary for us to breathe, now.

We try and trump each other by rattling off funny movie quotes at the most well-timed (or ill-timed) moments. Usually something from a corny slapstick movie.

A little Johnny Cash, some comfy chairs on the patio, a bottle for him and a glass for me, always make for the best date nights ever.

And he is never more attractive to me than when he's being a good daddy. Which is pretty much all the time.

We are yin and yang. Peanut butter and jelly. Oreos and milk. Tarzan and Jane.  :)

Happy 44th Birthday, my sweet southern boy.  I'm yours forever.

xo, Stacey Jo

What "Charlotte's Favorites" Look Like

Oh my Charlotte.

Char Char.  Char-latte.  Punkin.  Our last baby.  Funny girl.  She's so petite, she hasn't yet broken the 20-pound mark even at 18 months of age.  She still has only her super fine baby hair, and while it's finally getting a little bit thicker, there still isn't very much of it.  Except... this one tiny curl in the back.  It's so much longer than the rest of her hair.  Parker had the same single lock when he was her age!  We called it his "duck tail" because it was just a little feather of a thing.

Her favorite things are...

• mirrors
• her pacifier!!
• soft textures
• bananas
• emptying and refilling any container, with anything at all
• raiding Lila's jewelry box and Parker's lego drawer
• her own bed at nap time and bed time (thank you, God)
• putting on her shoes and socks
• taking off her shoes and socks
• her "bubba" (brother) Parker
• hugging our lazy, geriatric cat
• pushing the cart at Target
• being held and swayed back and forth when she's a little sleepy
• the sound of Dadda coming through the door each evening
• standing straight up in her highchair and scaring me to death
• squeezing into small spaces
• my iPhone: hmm, let's see... Instagram (she takes and posts photos all by herself. I have to watch her!), Bad Piggies, and White Noise are her most favorite apps and she can find and open them (and use them!) easily, even if they're hidden in folders

She greatly dislikes...

• doctor visits
• being held when she wants to get down
• diaper changes
• the bathtub (we literally have 30-second baths. She stands up against the side of our tub, screaming and keeping her arms tightly wrapped around my neck as I wash and rinse her as fast as I possibly can.  I am so upset that she hates bath time!)
• squishy gel-filled toys
• when Parker and Lila eat her goldfish
• headbands and hairbows
• giving me back my iPhone

It is such a treat to watch Charlotte discover something new.  To see her fascinated and engrossed in something that is just so magical to her.  The tiny dancer inside Lila's jewelry box is hard to resist.

She loves anything tactile.  If it's soft, smooth, rough, or shaggy, you can bet that Charlotte will lay her cheek down on it and touch it for herself.  Carpet at grandma's house, fluffy pillows on Lila's bed, her soft blankets, a basket of clean laundry, the furry CAT.  (Bless him for tolerating her.  She lays on him hugs him just like this every single day.)

Even the new bath mat.  She just wants to check this new thing out and feel its texture on her cheek.

She delights in her babies.  Baby Ariel is her chosen favorite (although Ariel's enormous eyes creep Mama out a little).  She flips them over and fiddles with the tag on their back.  I finally figured out why she takes all of her dolls' clothes off.... she's looking for a tag!  She puts herself to sleep with a pacifier in her mouth and a papery or silky tag between her fingers.  Were your babies like this with tags on blankets and toys?  My sister was this way as a child, and I've heard of several friends' little ones who were drawn to tags as well.

Every morning, Charlotte lines them all up side by side, wedged between the back crib rail and the wall.  Poor things.  I wonder if it's her way of tidying up her bed and not losing track of her beloved babies in the process?

So that's my littlest love.  I could eat her up on a minute-by-minute basis.  I love how warm and soft her cheeks are when she wakes from a nap.  Perfectly kissable.  I love the way she calls out, "Mah-muhh?" 1,428,539 times a day.  I love the curl of her top lip.  Her big blue eyes and her tiny button nose.

////

I hope you'll continue the circle of "What ____ Looks Like" by clicking through to my new friend Lindsey.  She is truly an artist with her camera, and she bends light and uses it in a beautiful, magical way.

Lindsey Bergstrom Boulder Lifestyle Photographer

////

I'm also writing over at The Creative Mama today.  We discovered a treasure trove of old photographs while I was in Kentucky for Momaw's funeral. Keeping with the theme of this What ___ Looks Like Project, I have a photograph from 1953 that would be inspiring to anyone searching for the true feel and purpose of Lifestyle Photography.  I hope you'll check it out!

Hello, brand new year.

Oh, 2013. How delighted I am to have a fresh start in you. A clean slate.

That push towards healing, newness, and so much peace.

A gentle nudge in the right direction, and a big step forward.

Growth.

I have grand plans for this year.  New adventures and directions to pursue, new strategies to try, and older ideas to finally bring forth.

So many of my intentions and projects simmered on the back burner last year, unfinished like everything else.  Looking back, that's exactly where those things belonged, for a time.  Until I was ready.  I believe that even though we don't always follow God's perfect plans for us, he can certainly dust us off when we ask Him to.  Miraculously, He can still make something amazing of our life, no matter how badly we've messed it up. He is the Potter, we are the clay.  And I'm ready for whatever He wants to make of me.

This feels like MY YEAR.  I am thrilled to be alive, and so happy to be able to share my heart with you here.

I hope you'll stick around.

What being with Lila looks like

Oh, my Lila. I love so many things about this daughter of mine.  I've posted a lot of her pictures and stories lately on Facebook and Instagram, so I thought I'd devote the first 2013 edition of "What ______ Looks Like" to my sweet middle one.  She blesses my heart every day, and it is a joy to share her with you today, with a combination of iPhone photos and "big camera" photos as well.  I hope you enjoy. ////

What Being With Lila Looks Like

She is my free-spirit. My messy artist, my lover of crafting and painting and sticking and taping and drawing and sketching and writing.  She is forever leaving us notes, writing on calendars, art paper, envelopes, and her favorite canvas: HERSELF.  Marker-tattoos are her specialty.

She is an enthusiastic early reader (she's only four), and she always begs for "just one more story" at bedtime.  It's hard to tell her no.

My helper, my little mama. She always knows where I've absentmindedly sat something down.  She is delightfully observant.  She can always tell me what Charlotte needs when she cries, which comes in super handy in the car!  I find Lila's babydolls covered up with blankets all over the house.  She often shushes me because "Bitty Baby is asleep."  She will make an excellent mama someday.

Lila is our tomboy-princess. All of her "twuhly skiwts" (twirly skirts) have tiny holes in the hems, because she climbs trees (with her brother) while wearing them. Fancy clothes cannot hold her back.

She is a mirror, reflecting my mannerisms and habits back to me. It's not always sweet, which lets me keep a check on my own heart. For instance, when we're stuck in traffic, her sweet voice suddenly shocks you with, "GO, people. We don't have all day." I raise my guilty hand. Pretty embarrassed about it, too.

Her sweet lisp is endearing to me, and I will certainly mourn when she outgrows it. "We don't go to da gas station wif da gween sun because dey made our ocean diwty." (Referring to the historic Gulf oil spill and our resulting boycott of that particular gas station with the green sunburst logo.)

She's delightfully random. She pipes up with whatever is on her mind at any given moment: "I like butterflies!"

She has her own beautiful way of saying ordinary words. Taking off her shoes post-beach and shaking them out, she exclaims: "My shoes have sandy in dem." When the moonroof is open, and our car's interior is too bright for her liking, she begs... "Close it! It's too shiny!" This sweet girl has no idea that she is our sunshine.

She is funny without ever trying to be. When Skyping with my sister once, our computer screen froze and we complained about it. Always the literal one, Lila scrambled up and offered, "I'll go turn off the fan."  Darling girl thought we were really "freezing".

She's forever carrying food around the house.  One evening several months ago, as I nursed Charlotte in the bedroom chair, Lila brought an entire plate of food into the bedroom.  I asked her to please take her food to the table. Of course, I meant the kitchen table, but she promptly sat her plate on the bedroom nightstand. (I did say a table, after all.) I don't think the kitchen table ever occurred to her; she just looked around the room for the nearest table, so that she could still be with us.  How could I refuse her?  Again, she's so literal that it makes me smile.

Lila Kate. Lilabean. Lilabug. Lila Cakes. Li. Lila Jane. Ya-ya (Charlotte's baby-talk name for her).

I asked her once, "Lila, what in the world would I do without you?" She smiled and quickly offered, "You'd cry... and cry and cry and cry."

And I would.

////

I'm honored to link up to Shannon Sewell this month.  I had the pleasure of interviewing her in 2011 for The Creative Mama's Creative Photography Series.  She is delightful, and I can't wait to see the gorgeous art she shares with us today.

Praying for Patience

I should have known better than to pray for patience, and I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth.

But in a moment of culminated frustration yesterday evening in the car, I fervently prayed (rather, shouted so that my children could hear), "Please, Lord! Give me patience with these children!!"

And behold, the Lord giveth.

This morning was our first test.  Every one of my lovelies were late to school/preschool/daycare.  Charlotte, because she is a toddler and isn't responsible for herself yet, was the only one not at fault. Including me. No one could find the socks that we just folded and put away on Sunday.  Fibs were told concerning if, in fact, little teeth had or had not been brushed. We caught every red light from Clearwater to Largo to Safety Harbor to Dunedin and back to Clearwater again.  We even sat at a stoplight for ten minutes, unable to turn left across three lanes of traffic, because the light was broken.  That is, until a police officer came to the rescue and fixed the problem.  Ten minutes, folks.  During the morning commute, that roughly equals an hour.  

I forgot my phone at home and had to keep a tally of messages and notes in my head, as opposed to dictating them for quick reminders later.  Photoshop is acting up, and my Wacom pen suddenly has a mind of its own.

All this to say, I have had more opportunities to practice patience this morning than I've had all week long.  I will choose to be thankful for these opportunities, and I will take my lumps and lessons as humbly and gratefully as possible.

But seriously, take my advice.  DON'T EVER, EVER, PRAY FOR PATIENCE.  Because God has a fine sense of humor.

Have a wonderful day!!  :)

-Stacey

A Surprise Thanksgiving Trip

Last Sunday morning, the kids and I started a road trip to Kentucky for Thanksgiving.  It was a down-to-the-last-minute decision, one that I put off because I was truly dreading that 16+ hour drive each way. However, the kids were off school all week and that meant that I wasn't going to get any work done at home anyway.  Plus, we got some sad news just before Thanksgiving that my grandma's cancer has returned, after a 7-year remission.  Hopefully we'll know more in a few days, but that bit of news made the trip all the more important, and urgent, to me.  I have always known Momaw to be unstoppable.  She could work as hard as any man, and her homemade biscuits would make your mouth water.  Plus, my cousin and his family were making the trip from Hawaii this year.  I figured that if he could fly his family across 6 time zones, then surely I could drive myself and the kids North for a few days.

We ended up staying a couple of days longer than planned, just so we could visit my grandmas a little longer.  My other grandma is very ill also, and if you follow this blog, you'll know that she has been unwell for months.  Every time I squeeze in a visit, I feel like it might be the last time I get to see her.  We drove up this summer to see her in the hospital, and looking back at those photographs, she actually looked so healthy and lively back then. She couldn't remember my girls' names this time.  And although that broke my heart, I know that it's just a stage of life that she's going through, and that she still loves us all no matter what.

I did have my computer with me, but between all the different visits and dinners and cooking and driving from one family member's house to another, and four of those days being spent on the road (yes I am crazy), time and internet connection weren't always on my side.  We got home last night about 11:30pm, and I let the kids skip school and just sleep in this morning.  After we get unpacked and settled, I will be able to dig in and get caught back up on some galleries and emails.

Thanks for your patience, friends.  I will be back soon with photos from our trip, and stories to go along with them!

xo,

Stacey