Love Languages: A New Blog Series

I'm starting a new series on the blog, entitled Love Languages. I've always been intrigued with how people give and receive love, and it is one of my favorite things to witness when I'm photographing people: how they show love to one another. 

I've you've never read the book, The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, then I highly suggest you click over right this minute and grab a copy. It's not just for couples; there is a wonderful version for children that is so insightful. I think about love languages every time I'm with my own kids, when I'm planning sessions with clients, and when I'm actively shooting and talking to them from behind my camera. 

The five love languages are: 
Quality Time
Physical Touch
Words of Affirmation
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service

According to the author, we all have one primary love language that we cannot do without. In addition, we may have secondary love languages that we enjoy as well.

My own three kids each have different love languages, and it's a joy to be keyed in on their individual brands of heart-speak and to be able to love them how they each need to be loved. When I'm loving them in their love language, that's when they feel it most... why would I want to love them in any other way?! So during this forever-ongoing blog series, I'm going to show you what love looks like between myself and my own sweet babies, for me as a mama/wife/sister/daughter/woman, and for my clients and their families. I hope you'll join me... I cannot wait to share this insight with you!

To start us out, I thought I'd share one of the love languages of my daughter: quality time. She's an amazing little girl with a heart of pure gold, and it is my pleasure and great honor to love on her! Lila sweetly says that she wants to stay home with me every single day, even though she loves school. To make her feel loved, all I have to do is simply spend one-on-one time with her. Doesn't matter what we do, as long as it's together. We braid hair, we take a walk, we bake gluten-free goodies together, we ride bikes, skip down the sidewalk, read together, snuggle in bed, I have lunch with her at school, we hold hands or play games or go shopping together. Just the two of us.

I also find that when I love her the way she needs it most, I fill her little love tank to its brim. And with that, she is more open with me in return, more patient, more well-behaved, more helpful and cooperative. (And in our house, friends, we high-five and call that a win-win.)

Interestingly enough, Lila's love language to me is often acts of service or giving me gifts. She writes me letters (check out the hashtag #lilawrites on Instagram), leaves me little notes, she does extra chores to help me out, even tells me I'm beautiful when I don't wear any makeup... she is just a delight. She is so kind to her brother and sister, and loves her daddy like no other.

So tell me, dear friends... how do you find yourself giving love? What does your spouse do that makes you feel adored, noticed, beautiful, appreciated, loved? What do your children do for you that makes your heart light on fire? Let's find your love language. Then find that of your significant other and your children. Spend this next week consciously showing love in the ways that your family receives love best, and see what it does for their hearts... and yours!

Love to you,
Stacey

Mine | January 2015

So in 2014, my "main camera" for my own family was my iPhone. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for it and I'm super glad to have had it. I firmly believe that the best camera is the one you have with you. But in trying to create my own family's photo books for the past couple of years, I was sad to realize that I don't have very many "good" high-quality photographs taken of my own children. Let's face it, you can only blow up an iPhone snap so large. 

But.... Hello, 2015. You are a year of fresh starts in so many ways. One of them happens to be portraits of my children.

So in 2015, I vow to create portraits of each of my three children (at least) once per month. I'll try to feature them here on the blog to keep myself accountable. It might be quick shots of everyday life, we might be out and about, or it might be a quiet moment at home or an orchestrated full-on photo shoot. I'm leaving creative freedom open to do whatever I want. I just want them DOCUMENTED. Tantrums and all. It's why I became a photographer in the first place, years ago.

So this is Installment No. 1. January 2015. My babies, the way only I can see them.

And maybe a few extra. ;)

This is for them, just as much as it's for me. Because they need to know.

Love to you.  xx

What being with Lila looks like

Oh, my Lila. I love so many things about this daughter of mine.  I've posted a lot of her pictures and stories lately on Facebook and Instagram, so I thought I'd devote the first 2013 edition of "What ______ Looks Like" to my sweet middle one.  She blesses my heart every day, and it is a joy to share her with you today, with a combination of iPhone photos and "big camera" photos as well.  I hope you enjoy. ////

What Being With Lila Looks Like

She is my free-spirit. My messy artist, my lover of crafting and painting and sticking and taping and drawing and sketching and writing.  She is forever leaving us notes, writing on calendars, art paper, envelopes, and her favorite canvas: HERSELF.  Marker-tattoos are her specialty.

She is an enthusiastic early reader (she's only four), and she always begs for "just one more story" at bedtime.  It's hard to tell her no.

My helper, my little mama. She always knows where I've absentmindedly sat something down.  She is delightfully observant.  She can always tell me what Charlotte needs when she cries, which comes in super handy in the car!  I find Lila's babydolls covered up with blankets all over the house.  She often shushes me because "Bitty Baby is asleep."  She will make an excellent mama someday.

Lila is our tomboy-princess. All of her "twuhly skiwts" (twirly skirts) have tiny holes in the hems, because she climbs trees (with her brother) while wearing them. Fancy clothes cannot hold her back.

She is a mirror, reflecting my mannerisms and habits back to me. It's not always sweet, which lets me keep a check on my own heart. For instance, when we're stuck in traffic, her sweet voice suddenly shocks you with, "GO, people. We don't have all day." I raise my guilty hand. Pretty embarrassed about it, too.

Her sweet lisp is endearing to me, and I will certainly mourn when she outgrows it. "We don't go to da gas station wif da gween sun because dey made our ocean diwty." (Referring to the historic Gulf oil spill and our resulting boycott of that particular gas station with the green sunburst logo.)

She's delightfully random. She pipes up with whatever is on her mind at any given moment: "I like butterflies!"

She has her own beautiful way of saying ordinary words. Taking off her shoes post-beach and shaking them out, she exclaims: "My shoes have sandy in dem." When the moonroof is open, and our car's interior is too bright for her liking, she begs... "Close it! It's too shiny!" This sweet girl has no idea that she is our sunshine.

She is funny without ever trying to be. When Skyping with my sister once, our computer screen froze and we complained about it. Always the literal one, Lila scrambled up and offered, "I'll go turn off the fan."  Darling girl thought we were really "freezing".

She's forever carrying food around the house.  One evening several months ago, as I nursed Charlotte in the bedroom chair, Lila brought an entire plate of food into the bedroom.  I asked her to please take her food to the table. Of course, I meant the kitchen table, but she promptly sat her plate on the bedroom nightstand. (I did say a table, after all.) I don't think the kitchen table ever occurred to her; she just looked around the room for the nearest table, so that she could still be with us.  How could I refuse her?  Again, she's so literal that it makes me smile.

Lila Kate. Lilabean. Lilabug. Lila Cakes. Li. Lila Jane. Ya-ya (Charlotte's baby-talk name for her).

I asked her once, "Lila, what in the world would I do without you?" She smiled and quickly offered, "You'd cry... and cry and cry and cry."

And I would.

////

I'm honored to link up to Shannon Sewell this month.  I had the pleasure of interviewing her in 2011 for The Creative Mama's Creative Photography Series.  She is delightful, and I can't wait to see the gorgeous art she shares with us today.

What August Feels Like | Lifestyle Project

Hello friends.  I'm so looking forward to Friday!!  It's been a hectic week for us here in the Woods household.  Charlotte has been sick all week, school was closed Monday for Parker and Lila, we are still getting used to our new routines... so I'm extremely late in contributing to the lifestyle project circle.  Oh well.  Better late than never, right?  Here's to a good night's sleep, some good news at the doctor's office this afternoon, and another cup of coffee for me! ///

I am blessed to be able to join eight extremely talented photographers in our continuing project: What _____ Looks Like.  It's a wonderful way for us to deliberately make time to photograph our own families, and not just clients.  To become memory-keepers as well as memory-makers.

I'm so grateful to know that years from now, I will be able to flip back through our photo albums and see what it looked like when my kids helped me bake cookies, or what it looked like to have a newborn in the house, or what it looked like when she dressed up in all her princess costumes when she was three.

However, when planning my own lifestyle photo sessions, I try to ask my clients what they want their session to FEEL like, instead.  That emotion is what drives the session. So this month, I thought it would be more appropriate to show you, What August Feels Like...

Well, it feels like a whirlwind, to be honest.  So much happening, so many places and so many emotions at once.  A lot of these photographs were captured with my D700, but quite a few were just taken with my iPhone and Instagram.

We began our August with an overnight, nonstop road trip from central Florida to North Carolina, with three young kids packed tightly among pillows and luggage.  Oh my... there are so many "feelings" associated with this one!  Actually the kids handled it beautifully, since we left at bedtime and drove straight through the night.  They slept through most of it.  Chris and I split the driving hours almost in half, thanks to some Red Bull (for him) and sweet tea and chocolate (for me).  We felt exhausted, sleepy, anxious, nervous, confident, tired, caffeinated, slap-happy, and relieved to finally arrive the next morning.  Thank goodness for a nap, and grandparents, aunts and uncles who were happy to watch our children while we caught up on a little sleep.

Charlotte's first introductions to -- and our reunion with -- some very special family members... elated.  Joyful.  Grateful.  Whole.  Complete.

Adventurous.  Carefree.  Realizing that this entire North Carolina field was his own personal golfing range that evening.

Peaceful.  Warm.  Content...

And ticklish. ;)

Loved, and surrounded by love.

An early first birthday celebration for a tiny girl... denial.  How can she be almost a year old?!  This isn't possible!! I've prayed for this day, for this "difficult first year" to be over with.  And then, when it was actually, truly, really creeping up on me, I pushed it aside and refused to deal with it.  Her birthday is not here yet.  I'll accept it later, when it's time.  And I did...  I think.

But this day, her party was so very beautiful and special.  It deserves its own post, really, so I won't go into all of it here.  But I promise to share it all soon!

We allowed Parker to stay on in North Carolina for a few days to spend some more time with his grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.  Chris's brother's family was heading to Florida to visit us the next week, so they agreed to let Parker fly with them.  Driving away and seeing our son standing there in his grandparents' driveway, waving to us all... just about killed me.  My heart broke, my throat closed, and I cried hot, silent tears as we passed him by and honked the horn.  I could feel Chris looking over at me so pitifully, but I couldn't hold back the tears.  My boy and I have a special mother-son bond.  Even though I knew that it would only be a few days until we saw Parker again, I still felt like I'd left a part of my heart back there in that driveway.  Missing a piece of my family.

Nostalgic. Sentimental. On our road trip, we drove through Charlotte, NC.  The city where Chris and I met.  "Our" first home.  The namesake of our baby girl.  I'd taken this exit more times than I could count... and yet it seemed so unfamiliar when we passed by it.  Thirteen years is a long time, I guess.  And true to our Southern roots, we had to stop in Georgia at a roadside produce stand.  Tables laden with freshly-picked peaches, jarred preserves, and bags of soft pecans and hot boiled peanuts.  It lifted my spirits a bit seeing Charlotte biting right into that peach!  I knew Lila would love hers.  She's my best eater.

There was plenty of playtime for the kids this month, and I feel so proud of their imaginations.  From trampoline-jumping with cousins, building dojos and rockets and vehicles with legos, to dressing up as Jedi knights to defend little sisters princesses.  And in the case of Charlotte above, I let Lila choose her baby sister's outfit this day.... she picked out a Cinderella costume, of course.  That, for me, was yet another lesson in choosing my battles.  I did not choose this battle, and the baby wore the Cinderella dress to the grocery store that day.

They don't always play well together, I will be the first to admit... but when they do, it's bliss.  They discover that his lego tree house and fort can back right up to her pink lego house and all of the mini-figures can hang out.  (That's a pink tutu bathing suit Lila has on -- her favorite.  She wears it all the time around the house, and I never want to forget it.)

Parker got a hamster this month.  Meet Coral.  She's kind of a grumpy thing.  She's escaped from her cage two or three times, spends all day tucked into her tunnels, and she bites our fingers every time we get close to her.  I think she wants to be owner-free, don't you?

The third week in August was more than emotional.  Parker began 3rd grade on Monday, Lila started Pre-K on Tuesday, and Charlotte turned a year old on Wednesday.  Every day another kid took a step forward, and it was so bittersweet.  My babies are growing up!  But on the flip side, it was pretty nice to have a bit of order back to our schedule again, and some much-needed routine to our days.  Calm amidst the chaos.  Centered.  Focused.  On track.

I'm so proud of this boy.

Someone was really really super duper excited to start preschool...  ;)

And, if I'm being honest, I am really enjoying that block of quiet time alone with my baby girl.  Charlotte is pretty amazing.

///

Now introducing my sweet friend, Deb Schwedhelm  |  Tampa Child Photographer.  Can't wait to see what she photographed this month.

What Eight Looks Like | Lifestyle Project May 2012

Our big boy turned eight last month.  It was bittersweet for me, as his mama.  Parker had so much influence on me when I was first learning photography.  As a very busy toddler, he pretty much dictated that my shooting style be unposed and loose, on the go, and very much what "lifestyle" feels like to me now.  He is why, to this day, I try not to pose my clients.  He is why I want to just let them be real, and document the way they interact with one another.  He was my first muse. These days, he is not quite so unfazed by my camera.  He's usually giving me bug-eyes or sticking his tongue out when I point my camera his way.  But that's alright with me.  Whatever he gives me, I will document.  And embarrass him someday at his wedding treasure this funny, clever time in his life, while it lasts.

The past few weeks, Parker has let me quietly photograph him, just the way I always do.  He even surrendered and let me photograph him for a class that Bree and I are teaching, to illustrate a technical point for our students.  I savored every moment.

//

Making funny faces, stifling laughs, catching frogs and lizards with the neighbor boys, running around shirtless, playing soccer, showing off, missing teeth, building with legos, and even being sweet to his baby sister... this is What Eight Looks Like.

You are a delight, my love.  I am so glad you made me a Mama.

//

I hope you'll continue the blog carousel and visit my sweet friend, Deb.  I always look forward to seeing what beautiful bits of life she's documented of her children.  Enjoy the journey, xo.  Deb Schwedhelm  |  Tampa Child Photographer

What "I Wanna Help" Looks Like | Lifestyle Challenge March 2012

These days, it seems I can't do much without a little Someone asking to help me. Lila has a favorite kitchen stool that she carries from station to station, so she can reach the countertops.  Watch your toes.

She asks to feed Charlotte all the time, and she can put the spoon in her mouth, but I'm always afraid she'll jab it in there a little too "helpfully", so I offered a compromise.  Lila's doll shares the table with us, and eats when Charlotte does.

She can unsnap a diaper faster than I can.  She always knows where the wipes are (likely because she carried them off in the first place).  She picks out her own clothes 90% of the time, and I let her.  She often brings me snacks or juice boxes (one for her, and one for me).  And she's always forgiven when she sneaks a cookie for herself but brings me one too.

She asks me on a daily basis, "Can we bake?"  She's darn good at cracking eggs and she loves to add flour to the mixing bowl.  And always the chocolate chips.  Always.  She sneaks a few of those throughout the process too.

This particular day, we were baking Peppermint Crinkle Cookies.  Yes, it was around the holidays.  And yes, I know it's March now.  I've meant to share these with you every month since.  So today, I hope you'll enjoy this little morning of baking with my big girl.  My helper.

///

What "I Wanna Help," Looks Like

I had already made the dough the night before, and we were rolling the cookies into balls and dipping them in confectioner's sugar. Never a girl to stay clean for long, she had sugar all over her face about thirty seconds into it.

I love the softness of this one.

The hardest part is waiting for them to bake.  Such long minutes for a little girl.

And of course, the finished product.  They were delicious!

I always remember Mom letting us help her cook, even when we were very little, and very messy.  She would let us crack eggs and quietly pick out the shells without saying a word to us about them.  I remember dumping flour and sugar into the bowl, holding the electric mixer, scraping the last bits of batter from the bowl into the pan.  I know that by letting us "help", it made her time in the kitchen that much longer, and her cleaning the kitchen back up took that much longer as well.  But she always let us help anyway.

I hope that when Lila grows up and "be's a mommy" as she calls it, that she will remember these days with me and let her little ones help her too.

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Please continue on our blog carousel to the extremely talented Wendy Vonsosen  | San Francisco Bay Area Photographer.  Wendy's lifestyle work is so insightful, and I can't wait to see what wonder she's captured for us this month.

Elevate: A Fine Art Photography Exploration | March 2012

I think it's high time I get myself posting regularly on this blog again, what do you say?  Photography is healing for me, after all.  And so is writing.  Maybe this is part of what I've been missing lately? After what we've been through for the past six months, I feel like I need to celebrate this sweet little one a little more.  My darling Charlotte.  Perfectly happy 99.5% of the time, and the other .5% she only gently fusses to let us know she needs something (usually milk or a nap).  She could never know how much her birth has meant to me.  Even through my ppd, she has remained so happy and pleasant.  Charlotte has been our angel.  She has the sweetest smile each morning.  She pushes up on her hands and gives me a wrinkled-nose grin that melts my heart.  Each night when I nurse her to sleep, she quietly holds on to me and drifts off; content, peaceful, full.

In comparison to my other two children, Charlotte and I have a lot of catching up to do in the quantity-of-photographs department.  But hopefully this is a good start toward making up the difference...

Sweet girl.  You can't possibly know how much you're loved.  But I promise to try and show you, now and every day until forever.

I'm honored to be a part of Elevate: A Fine Art Exploration with some extremely talented photographers.  Each month, these women and I have vowed to push ourselves and simply shoot for us.  I've had to skip a couple of months recently, but this month, I am ever so grateful for this project and for the healing comfort it's given my heart.  I encourage you to follow our circle, read on and discover what beauty the extremely talented Renee Popat is sharing with the world today.  Thank you so much for being here.  I so appreciate you, friends.  xo

xo

Elevate: A Fine Art Photography Exploration | December 2011

This image spoke to me as soon as I pressed the shutter.  My little girl is in between waves.  One has just swept over her, and another is breaking and tumbling toward her.  But she's peaceful, focused, and she takes each wave as it comes.

Some days I wish I could just slow down and take it one wave at a time, don't you?  In the family portrait photography business, these late months are always the busiest of the entire year.  We squeeze in extra sessions, we stay up late at night editing, we rush print deliveries and we package them up just as soon as they come in.  We appreciate this time while it lasts, because we know that January and February will be much different.  The phones won't ring as much and we will get a bit of a break until the next wave comes onshore.

My goal this season is to be peaceful in the midst of these waves, to focus on my tasks as well as my own family's contentment, and to make sure I get up from my place at the edge of the water and take my kids for a stroll on the beach.

I read this quote on Pinterest some time ago, and I whipped up a very simple art print to remind me to slow down and take the waves in my life as they come... one at a time.  You're welcome to click the image to download it.  Print it for yourself to always remember that the tide does ebb and flow.  I hope you don't simply dip your toes in the water, but that you jump in with both feet and enjoy the surf.

The Elevate Project is a circle of photographers who long to indulge our artistic sides at least once a month, by exploring photography as a fine art form.  You can see my October and November posts here if you'd like to.  As we think, and shoot, and think some more... we grow, and we develop, and we become better at our craft.  I encourage you to follow our circle by visiting my very talented friend Gina Oh  |  Arroyo Grande, CA Photographer next.

xxoo

What Naptime Looks Like

With a new baby in the house, we do a lot of sleeping around here.

Wait.  Let me rephrase that.  Charlotte does a lot of sleeping.  Mama is not so lucky ;)

Charlotte is on a great schedule... eat, play, sleep... eat, play, sleep.  Parker, at 7 1/2, doesn't nap anymore, and is at school during the day while the girls are here.  But Lila certainly needs her afternoon nap.  Goodness, she can be the sweetest little grump if she doesn't get a decent amount of sleep!  Although, admittedly, with so many changes to our old routine, her nap schedule at home varies quite a bit.  It's a rare occasion that our schedules get lined up so perfectly that the girls will be asleep for a few minutes at the same time.  (When that happens, I guarantee you that I will be (quietly) singing the Hallelujah chorus!)

This month I tried to document these moments when they're sleeping sweetly.  On some particularly exhausting day when they've all been naughty and I haven't had enough sleep myself... I will undoubtedly pull out these precious photos, hold them close to my heart, and remember what darling angels my children can be when they're asleep!!  ;)

Notice how she popped OUT the pacifier and popped IN her own thumb.  Sweet baby.

Yes, that's Lila wearing a bathing suit.  In November.  That's our girl!  She fought this nap so hard, and finally I caved and told her she could eat her snack in front of the TV.  A few minutes later, I looked over and saw that she had passed right out.  Love her heart.

This last image is probably my favorite... Lila saw Charlotte sleeping in her bouncy seat, and brought in her Bitty Baby to sleep alongside her.  Charlotte's first naptime friend!

I hope you'll continue the "What ________ Looks Like" lifestyle blog circle by visiting the talented Gina Oh | Arroyo Grand, CA Photographer.  She has some delightful lifestyle images to share with us, as always.  Enjoy the journey, friends.  xxoo

Also, I'm over at The Creative Mama today writing about a sweet Christmas tradition that I enjoyed with my Popaw Deb when I was growing up.  I hope you'll click over and read, and share one of your favorite Christmas rituals too!

Elevate: A Fine Art Photography Exploration | November 2011

"When my heart is heavy, the sun helps make it light."  -Astrid Alauda

This week has been so tiring.  Even though Charlotte is truly an angel baby, so easy and adaptable, just go-with-the-flow... I have to admit that being a mama to three little ones is much more exhausting than I'd imagined!  With a busy shooting season, a last-minute school presentation on the night that Daddy is working late, a bit of forgotten homework, a temper tantrum (or three), a broken A/C and far too little sleep...  you have the makings of a tired and weary mama and photographer.

But.  (And thank goodness for the "but", right?)  But, this weekend I got to see some of my favorite families during our mini-sessions.  And being drenched in such sweet morning light in the park was like therapy for my soul.  A tiny escape, thanks to my camera, my friend, lending me a fresh new perspective for a few hours.  My mind switching gears and letting me concentrate on something other than myself for a bit.  The fresh morning sun reminding me that today is "a new day, with no mistakes in it yet."

My intention this particular morning was to also shoot something different for my Elevate project; however, the more I tried to force myself to shoot something out of the ordinary for me, to stretch myself creatively and fulfill this vision I had brought with me..... the more I realized that on this particular day, simply being out in the sunshine and photographing these sweet clients and friends was what my heart needed more than anything.  I needn't look further.  I needed to take smaller steps, in fact, after being out on somewhat of a maternity leave for these past several weeks.  I didn't need to move outside the box, I needed desperately to be inside that box.  Where it's comfortable.  Calm.  Reassuring.

And yet, it's still new to me.  Sweet faces in sweet light.  Sunshine on my skin.  After being on maternity leave for several weeks, it feels good to feel like I'm back IN my element again!

I'm so grateful for the peace that photography brings to my heart, just when I need it.  I'm so very blessed.

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As you know, I'm joining several other photographers who are exploring Fine Art Photography, and pushing our creative spirits each month.  I hope you'll visit Gina Oh next, and see what loveliness she has to share with us.